My name is Alexander Hamilton,
And there’s a million things I haven’t done,
But just you wait, just you wait.
– Lin Manuel Miranda
I actually had to count on my fingers how many preschools/daycares I actually visited and after today, the number is 8. EIGHT. So there is either something wrong with those preschools or there is something wrong with me. Right?
Or maybe, my gut was telling me to wait. That the right one was still out there waiting for Fernando.
I was really nervous going today to visit this bilingual preschool. After reading about it and researching and speaking to the director, it really did sound like the ideal school. I honestly thought that this might really be it. We were going to be poor forever <<joking>>. It was costly, but it hadn’t mattered because I thought I had found this perfect preschool.
I paid the school a visit, and maybe it was because I had a lot riding on it, but, initially, I was a bit underwhelmed. However, the director and the teacher began speaking about their bilingual curriculum and it sounded pretty awesome. The kiddos definitely seemed happy. The environment was very structured which I think Fernando would have done well under.
I texted my husband as soon I got into my car and I wrote, “I don’t know how I feel.” I told him to call me in 15 minutes because I wanted time to process my feelings. I wasn’t really able to, though. He called me and I told him how I felt and he asked, “Is this a program you can see Fernando enroll in, in the fall?” and I responded, “No.” without hesitation.
I thought this school would be the answer to all my problems. I thought we were going to be financially tight for the rest of our lives because we were going to be willing to sacrifice in order to have Fernando in a perfect scholastic environment.
It wasn’t perfect, though. And while I still had a couple of questions, my husband and I decided that we would enroll him for one summer session because I really wanted Fernando to have that bilingual buffer before beginning a an English only environment aka Tiny Tots.
After speaking to my husband, I texted my good friend/best friend/comadre, you know, that person who doesn’t judge you when you have a glass of wine before noon because you were already failing as a mother…that person. I texted her my feelings and she responded with, “Just bring Fernando to me twice a week this summer.”
Let me tell you a bit about her and how we met. We were both teachers at the same school and we just clicked. I loved her chill personality and that she enjoyed having a good time and a good drink. She was authentic. I went to her wedding, she went to mine. I went to her first baby shower, and then we ended up being pregnant at the same. My first and her second. And that’s when we went from being friends to being best friends. She had all the answers to my pregnant questions. And when I became a mom and had the baby blues, she was there to tell me that I was normal. And when I thought it was my fault that Fernando wasn’t speaking because I spoke exclusively in Spanish to him, she was the one to tell me it wasn’t. That he was going to speak when he was ready. She was my ride or die.
She left the classroom to pursue her goals of being a lifestyle photographer and a home school mom. She and I share similar parenting values. She, however, is way more organic, while I have no qualms drinking a diet coke. She and her sister are actually a big reason as to why I speak exclusively in Spanish to Fernando. They did it with their kids and their kids’ Spanish is phenomenal.
Anyway, she is my go-to for all things motherhood and bilingual related. She has seen me at my lowest and never judged nor pitied me. She allowed me to rise on my own, when I was ready. So when she texted me to bring Fernando to her house this summer, this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there.
Naturally I said yes. And now she’s texting me all these amazing ideas that she has in store for this summer Spanish enrichment program such as a community breakfast, science experiments, art, and yoga…all in SPANISH!
I know she’s reading this and I just want her to know that I love her. I don’t have sisters, but the universe allowed me to have her in my life. She is my platonic soulmate.
So this is where this preschool journey is taking us now. And we are grateful. And we feel safe.