This will not be a meaningful post. This is more of a closure post. Fernandito did not return to Tiny Tots. I un-enrolled him.
We came to this decision as a family. My husband, Fernandito, and I talked about returning to school. And while Fernandito wanted to return to continue to get his Shopkins Fruit Snacks (that were only available to him as a school snack), when I asked him if he felt ready to return he responded with, “No estoy listo.”
These last couple of days have finally felt normal. I cried every single day for a week since the Tiny Tots crying incident. Fernandito has been happy. He was happy that same evening.
He is resilient.
I cried because I felt guilty, I felt unsure about what to do. I didn’t follow my intuition. I don’t even know how to find my intuition when it comes to something that will directly affect my son. I just listened to him. I allowed Fernandito to have a voice. I just wish I would have heard it sooner. I still feel guilty about this.
Fernandito socializes with his soccer team and learns from my mom (a retired public school teacher). School can wait.
When my husband and I put Fernandito to bed, we name a good thing and a bad thing that happened that day. This conversation took place the night we talked about whether or not Fernandito was ready for school. It was in Spanish.
When it was my husband’s turn to name a good thing, he had said, “Me gusto cuando hablamos sobre la escuela tu, yo, y Mami.”
Fernandito got really upset and said, “No! NO!”
I don’t remember what Fernando’s good thing for the day was but when it was his turn to speak about his bad thing, he said, “No me gusto cuando Papi dijo que le gusto que hablamos de la escuela!”
My husband laughed til he cried. I laughed, too.
Fernando is resilient because even though I can’t feel it right now, I am, too.