Enjoying the Now.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

– J.K. Rowling

Raising Español is about our journey, our attempt, in raising Fernandito in a Spanish speaking home in the hopes that he’ll grow up bilingual.  He will not be in a dual language school.  Any Spanish he has learned and will continue to learn will be taught by my mom, my husband, and me.

This journey also includes what it’s like being Fernandito’s mom, which is hard af, but so rewarding, too.

So sometimes I wonder if I should stick to writing about the bilingual aspects of this journey and refrain from mentioning anything else.  Other times I feel that every part of our life is Raising Español.

I woke up feeling motivated to blog and as I began typing, I questioned myself.  Do I write about how much Fernandito enjoys Preschool?  How he tells my mom he doesn’t want to be late?  How he tells my husband and I that he loves his teacher more than us?  How he enjoys comparing my classroom vs. his?  Do I include that this anxiety as a mom never goes away?  That at his first drop-off, Fernandito was crying and all I could think was how much I hated this?  Do I include that every time I pick him up there’s this fear that he won’t want to return?  That someone hurt him?  That he hurt someone?  Do I include how much my anxiety has subsided due to his love for his teacher?  Do I include how scared I am of failing again?  That I didn’t want to blog in fear that this school wouldn’t work out?

Or do I just mention his teacher telling me that he tells her, “Dímelo en español.”  And when I pick him up and ask how school went, he answers, “Bien! Bien! Hoy mejoré. No pegué a tantos niños!” That our comfort language, our home language, is still Spanish.

I don’t know.  But what I do know is I am so grateful to his teacher who loves him as a teacher should.  I am grateful to my husband who understands and empathizes with me.  To my mom, the sole reason Fernandito speaks Spanish better than me.  To Fernandito who tries.  And to you, I am grateful that you read without judgement.  Thank you.

2 thoughts on “Enjoying the Now.

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